TantricTeacherAtLarge

The week in Cape Town was beautiful, intense. The sharing and learning, the healing, the freedom, the release of inhibitions, the growth and expansion, and the pleasure, mmm…

One of the most exciting things about what I do, particularly teaching,  is that I’m constantly learning, making new connections, and in this context I mean the connections of thoughts, ideas, new ways of looking at something and expanding my knowledge.

There are certain things that are present almost all the time.

The first and most apparent of these is the need, strong need and desire that so many people have, crave, for open, non-judgemental learning and sharing of ideas.

Some of the more specific topics that came up with frequency were: body knowledge, where everything is, how to find it, particularly the G-spot, the possibilities of pleasure, how far it can go, technique, a fair amount of how to, particularly anal stimulation for men and women, why this is so arousing and so taboo.

Intimacy was a big discussion topic, what it is, what it means, why men are so terrified of it.  We’re going to talk more about that in the weeks to come, a great deal of new understanding about that.

Fear of so much connected to sex, bodies, intimacy, relationships, learning, growing, exploring.

Definition of relationships, the boxes we’ve put relationships into, what we’ve made them to be, the illusions and limitations we live with, how this connects to happiness and, for so many people, unhappiness and frustration.

Sexual power and freedom, what it means, really means.

Sexual communication, a big one, how to open the door.

Self-knowledge, and the sexual path, particularly of Tantra, as a viable, vital tool for growth and healing.

Exploring, how to create the safety, also linked to finding information that will allow for positive experiences.

We want to know, because we can have the greatest pleasure, love, experiences, connection… and we know that it’s there, it’s possible for all of us.   

ORGASMIC WAVE

The Orgasmic Wave is a state of extended pleasure brought about by new stimulation techniques that I have discovered during Yoni Massage. The waves of pleasure move through your body for up to a day after the massage. It is indeed an experience hard to find words for.

JOBURG WORKSHOPS

SAT 30^TH OCT: TANTRIC SENSUAL MASSAGE

An amazing practical day for couples. The workshop includes: The principles of Sensual Touch, Energy Connection, Heart Touch, Bliss Body Massage, Building the Sexual Fire, Full-body Sensual Massage, Yoni/Lingam Massage and much more…

Time: 11:30 am, lunch included

Cost: R1800/couple.

SAT 13^TH NOV: GREETING THE GODDESS

A powerful, fun day of learning, healing, sharing and growing for women.

In a relaxed and safe space we go into the mysteries, look at peak self-pleasuring experiences, conscious sexuality, sexual healing, technique and more… the more comes from the questions you ask, what you’d like to know about.

Time: 10 am, lunch included

Cost: R600/person

TUES 16^TH NOV:  EXPANDED ORGASM

In a fun evening you can learn the secrets of this amazing technique that allows a woman to be in an orgasmic state for over an hour and offers men 5 incredible experiences.

This is for singles and couples.

Time: 7 pm

Cost: R300/person, includes the Expanded Orgasm E-book

THURS 18^TH NOV: INTRODUCTION TO TANTRA

Tantra  offers the fullness of possibilities of sexuality and sensuality, everything you thought possible.

We begin exploring the principles of Tantra, what it really is, what Tantric sex is all about, then move gently into some of the practical exercises of this beautiful journey.

This is for singles and couples.

Time: 7 pm

Cost: R300/person

CAPE TOWN

If you have, or know anybody who has a flat/cottage in Cape Town they’re interested in letting for Dec, please let me know.

SEXPO in Cape Town is on at The Convention Centre from Thurs 25^th Nov. I may need help at my stand, if you’re interested or available, please let me know.

I am thinking about a few workshops in the week SEXPO, I’ll let you know soon. 

I will also be able to offer personal journey’s of healing, growth and exploration for singles and couples in Dec in Cape Town.

PURPOSE

For a long time now I’ve been trying to express an idea. I’ve started to write it many times, each time I’ve got bogged down, not expressing exactly what I want to say. Verbally it’s been easy to say, for some reason the writing of it hasn’t flowed.

The other day, in a healing session, I said it very simply.

The implications and complexities of it will be expanded upon. But, as I’ve learned, and say so often, in simplicity is the greatest power.

In all the lessons, articles, talks and workshops that I give, I try to identify and share the essence of the topic.

We tend to complexity, often thinking it has more, is smarter.

But time and time again it comes back to simplicity. The most amazing principles and ideas are actually simple. So are the most amazing practices.

Here it is.

Every growth path, every spiritual path, has a higher vibration, a higher consciousness as its goal. This is what we reach for, this is what we heal and release and learn and grow for.

As the vibration increases so the joy, pleasure, bliss and ecstasy in out lives increase.

The beings, angels, guides etc exist in a higher vibration.

It has to be more ecstatic.

Not ecstasy and bliss in the way we bandy these words about, but in their true meaning, a feeling that can’t really be described, but so many of us have experienced it in some way. It’s often brief, ephemeral, then we come back to life. If we do it often, things change, we change.

The purpose of all life, of creation, is this ecstasy.

The more we experience this, the closer we are to God/Goddess/Spirit/The Universe/Source.

That’s what all life strives for, grows towards. To return home, to go back to the Source From Which We Came.

As humans, sex is about the only remaining experience that can take us there, all of us, reasonably easily.

That’s the original purpose of sex. It’s creating. Creating ourselves, our lives and our world.

It’s manifesting the Divine Energy within us.

Sacred sex.

Bliss, pleasure, ecstasy…

The Erotic Spirit workshop last night was fascinating. It’s one of my favourite workshops, one of the smaller in terms of attendance.

One of the reasons I enjoy it so much is that every single time I do it, it offers new insights, new understanding, new connections.

What came out of last night is one of the most powerful possible ‘uses’ of the Erotic Mind.

Beyond all the excitement, fun and arousal of the Erotic Spirit that dwells inside of use, we can use this as an extremely powerfu tool for self-knowledge and learning.

When we link this to the Tantric principle of consciusness we can explore so many aspects of ourselves, of our inner world, of where our power is, of what scares us, what draws us, what turns us on, what challeneges us…

We can use these to look athe beliefs we have, do these serve us, how do they limit us, where do the beliefs even come from etc.

This is important because most of what we believe about sex we’ve never really looked at, they’re subconscious, come from way back in the past. We get so many messages from parents, religion, social institutions that are often negative and limiting. Sex is the part of life least spoken about. So we never really look at what we believe.

When we do, we can see the limitations and inhibitions we’ve lived with, what pleasure and growth, waht excitement and fun and learning they might have prevented us from experiencing.

And we can choose something different.

We can choose something that frees us to love, to live, to relish in the abundant sensuality of life.

The Erotic and the Sensual are inextricably linked.

A vital element of Sensuality is intimacy, it touches something inside of us, there’s a personal connection. Intimacy comes from, through, via the heart. Intimacy is not only about the moments with another. There’s the Intimacy of the Self, connecting the parts of you, bringing the depths to the surface to be acknowledged and Felt.

Private moments, they’re about you. But aware, conscious of what you’re feeling, experiencing…

A monet of beauty, of truth.

A moment of touching the Erotic Spirit 

Well a few days of frustration caused by the gremlins of the invisible world. I couldn’t log on, couldn’t, stiil can’t reply to messages, for which I apologise. I hope the powers that be sort it out soon.

I taught a wonderful Expanded Orgasm workshop last night, the venue in Llandudno is great, looking out over the sea, perfect for sex and sensuality.

One thing that comes out of almost all the talks and workshops is how amazing it is to have a space where people can talk openly about sex. It’s that simple. But so powerful. 

It took me a long time to understand just how im portant this is.

I spend most days talking about, teaching, sharing some aspects of sexuality and take for granted what an eye-opener it is for some people, how rare it is.

As with so many things in life, it’s the simplest that carry the most power. This is another lesson it took me a long time to get. After years of learning so much that’s so complex, I realise the power and the keys the first Tantric exercises I teach have. The hard part is learning to see what’s there. I think one of the biggest blocks to this is that we don’t trust ourselves enough to listen to what’s inside and don’t know how to access that knowledge.

Some of this comes from moving away from our intuition, to our natural connection to the world, to ourselves, to our inner voices, to our heart and spirit. Some comes from the way we’re taught, the lack of belief we have in ourselves.

A digression, I’m sitting in an internet cafe on Kloof St, with a computer that I have to pound the space bar, makes me chuckle, and also chuckling out how much double entendre there is in so many of the words we use. When you have a one-track mind, well, sometimes things are a little weird.

Back to the serious stuff, one of the amazing side benefits of Tantra is connection, to ourselves on a deep level, to access what we know, how to feel what’s right and share it.

Tonight we explore one of our biggest sex organs, the mind…

I shared an intense and powerful day with a group of beautiful women on  a Greeting the Goddess workshop in Durban. Tomorrow morning flying to Cape Town for a week of sharing. I’m looking forward to meeting new people, the learning, the growing, the insights, techniques… what an awesome thing this is!

It is absolutely amazing to do something that offers such opportunity for learning and growing, not only for those I’m sharing with, but for me. The new understandings that come from the questions people ask, the things I say…whatever you may believe there are definitley things that I say that come through me rather than from me.

There is also so much to say on some days, so much to share, insights, possibilities….

This morning I’d like to share something about noise and sound during sex.

In movies when you see a scene charismatic churches you see people singing, shouting, really expressing themselves. You see joy.

Now I know that’s in the movies, and I’ve never been in church like that. But they’re real. And the representation is based on what people really do.

Now you compare this to what you see in the mainstream churches and synagogues, they’re sedate, we sing, but too much noise, too much energy is frowned upon.

A brief personal interlude – my first career choice was going to be a rabbi, I got over it thankfully, but I helped out in some of the small shuls in country communities that had depleted to the point they no longer had full time rabbis. On one occassion I decided that the srvice was really dull so I started singing, it wasn’t long before the chairman of the congregation came up to me and said they’d had requests that I stop singing. Not much embarasses me, that does.

Anyway, back to the sedate quietness, the hushed silence in places of prayer, the suppression of joy.

Often when we start having sex we don’t have a lot of privacy, we have to be quiet for our furtive teenage fumblings. And as parents, well, what will the kids and then the neighbours think. You regulalry read in the back pages of the newspapers about people being reported for making too much noise during sex.

Sound is one of the most powerful expressions of energy. It has such power to add to an experience, to transport us to other states, to add to the ecstatic power of sexual pleasure.

As Tantric lovemaking is an act of paryer, of devotion to the God, the Goddess of Love, as it is an expression of the highest we are, let’s accompany it with screams, with shouts, way beyond the grunts and groans, way more than the moans and heavy breathing.

Let the sound of passion fill your body, let the energy you’re feeling, the pleasure, the passion, the aliveness, the connection express itself in your voice. It opens so many channels, offers a ride of real wow!

You never read about a religious institution being told to tone it down.

Give your passion, your love, your pleasure voice. Even the totally tone-deaf like me can sing a song of ecstasy that is so beautiful to hear.

The world of a Tantra teacher definitely has some different moments.

Last night I taught an Expanded Orgasm, a small group, interesting evening from some of the questions that were asked.

On the workshop I use latex models of the genitals, Fred and Ginger, to demonstrate the techniques. When I started teaching I hadn’t even thought of using the models, it was all ‘live’, which limited the people who were going to learn this amazing technique.

So along came Fred and Ginger.

When it comes to teaching the technique for men, I give all the women a dildo to practice the strokes on.

We use lubricant and after the workshop they all get washed, which I did when i got home last night. It was along day, I was tired, I washed the toys, put them on some dish cloths to try, had a shower and went to bed.

This morning I woke up, went into the kitchen and just had to laugh at the row of 17 dildos lying on the counter.

Just another day in the life of a Tantra Teacher.

There is an increasing polarization in people with regards to sexuality.

More people are exploring so many avenues of sexuality, in so many way, with great excitement. Sometimes these explorations are fantastic, successful, thrilling and just wow!

Sometimes they’re scary and disastrous.

What often makes the difference is learning, communication and a certain level of awareness.

On the other had there is more fear and prejudice about sexuality than ever before.

In all this I’m often asked why anybody should come to a sexuality workshop?

Good lovers

There’s a long list of reasons. The first, and one of my pet soapboxes, is that nobody teaches us to be good lovers. It’s one of the most important skills in life, yet nobody teaches us.

So on a workshop you’ll get open, honest, non-judgmental information.

The non-judgmental is vital, especially when you’d like to explore whatever it is that interests you.

We’re told that so much is wrong, bad, perverse…, when in fact it’s actually normal, and more than ok. And to enjoy it without guilt, shame or embarrassment is liberating and fulfilling.

Skill

The next aspect is skill. A great deal of ‘sexual success’ is about how to.

How your body works, how their body works, where everything is, how to find it, what to with it, what the possibilities are, how to do, what to do with…

Normal

Then there’s the normalization, that we can sit in a safe space, with people just like you and I, and talk about these things, laugh and learn, as easily as if we were talking about anything else. This is so important, because then we feel ok about ourselves, about our sexuality, about what we like, what we’d like to like, to do, to explore…

It’s human and beautiful.

Healing

Then there’s healing.

Sometimes healing from specific incidents and beliefs, changing attitudes, liberating yourself from the guilt, the shame, the inhibitions, the fears, the why you shouldn’t, the lies you were told, the misunderstandings and misinformation you’ve lived with that have kept you trapped.

Growth

Then there are words such as growth, transformation, transcendence, spirituality, excitement, connection, intimacy and a list that goes on and on.

Play

I’ve often said that sex is one of the ways we as adults play.

It’s meant to be fun.

It’s a game where you don’t need toys, unless you’d like to include those, but they’re extras rather than necessities.

You can make the rules up as you go along, and re-create them all the time.

The game can be different every day, literally for the rest of your life.

Come learn, come explore, come and step into the joy, the celebration of the beauty, the power, the pleasure you are.

DVD’S

I have remade 3 DVD’s, Expanded Orgasm, Yoni Massage and Simple Pleasures – Oral and Manual Techniques.

The DVD’s are R250 each, R800 for the set of 4, which includes Sensual Massage.

WORKSHOPS

I am SO looking forward to sharing with you in the forthcoming workshops.

Tonight, Tues 12^th, Expanded Orgasm in Jo’burg.

This is such a powerful workshop, offering so much information, skill and an incredible perspective on sex and pleasure.

There are still place available.

7 pm, in Parkview.

R300/person.

TANTRIC SENSUAL MASSAGE

Sat 30^th Oct, 11:30 am

R1800/couple

DURBAN 

GREETING THE GODDESS

A day of learning, exploring, sharing, healing, growing for women. In a safe and gentle space, with laughter and purpose we’ll come into contact with the beauty and power of the Goddess you are. You’ll learn practical skills and processes to further your journey on the path of sexuality and sensuality.

Sat 16^th, Grand Manor in Ballito

10 am – 4:30 pm.

R550/person, includes lunch.

CAPE TOWN

I am available for private sessions and massages in Cape Town.

All the workshops are at the BP Wellness Centre, Llandudno Sports Club, Llandudno

A FREE TALK on sexuality.

Mon 18^th Oct

 7:15 pm

EXPANDED ORGASM

Tues 19^th Oct, 7:15pm

R300/person

EXPERIENCING THE EROTIC SPIRIT

Wed 20^th Oct, 7:15 pm

R300/person

RealSex including the G-spot and Female Ejaculation

Thurs 21^st Oct, 7:15 pm

R300/person

TANTRIC SENSUAL MASSAGE

Sat 23^rd Oct, 10:30 am

R1800/couple, includes 2 DVD’s.

BLOG

Please visit and subscribe to my new blog: http://blogs.health24.com/TantricTeacherAtLarge.

Please visit us on Facebook or our website www.sensualreality.co.za or call 083 7435 129 for more detail about the workshops.

I WISH YOU SO MUCH PLEASURE, SO MUCH FUN!

Jonti Searll

ABOUT JONTI SEARLL

Jonti has appeared on Carte Blanche; 3Talk; Below the Belt; Sex Etc; The Wedding Show; Great Expectations etc.

He has written for and been featured in Men’s Health, Cleo, Longevity, O Magazine, Marie Claire, Shape, You Pulse, Style, De Kat, Manwees etc.His articles are featured on many top websites.To receive newsletters with articles and information please send an email to: jontisearll@mweb.co.za.

On Sat I had the privilege and honour of teaching a Tantric Massage leson to a group of women who work in a massage spa.

I’ve always said that if you’re going to do sensual massage, do it as best you can. These women have an amazing opportunity to educate and show their clients how much more there is to massage, what some of the possibilities are. They’re also able to do so much healing, without even calling it anything like healing, simply from they way they do what they do.

I’ve always found it absurd that in the fields of massage, touch and healing, expect for the Tantric and Taoist experiences, there’s massage that goes so far out of its way to avoid genitals and anything sexual, to ‘sexual’ massage that’s mostly no more than a tickle to get you turned on.

It’s also sad that there are very few possibiltties for women to have a ensual massage experience, even an orgasmic experience, with safety and understanding of the space, the honouring of the Goddess as practised in Tantra.

I once read that we draw more attention to what we omit than what we include, simply by it’s omission.

When you think of a massage that covers parts of your body, that does all it can to avoid the slightest touch, you have to think of it being incomplete.

At the end of the day, as in all workshops I ask for feedback from the participants.

There was a lot said about what they learned in terms of massage skill, the principles of the Sexual Fire, Lingam Massage etc.

But the most amazing thing I was told was how these women felt they were able to llok at what they did with new eyes, to see it as being honourable and valuable. That blew me away!!!

Thank you.

So much happened at SEXPO, it’s a microcosm of our sexuality in many ways. Actually, with around 50 000 visitors, it’s not such a microcosm. I was playing the new Yoni Massage DVD on a monitor at my stand. Yoni is the Tantric term for vagina, meaning ‘sacred space’. The DVD is explicit, absolutely beautifully filmed, of two goddesses experiencing the Yoni Massage to a heightened orgasmic state.

It was certainly the most explicit thing at the show, amazing what you can do in the name of education.

What was fascinating was the reaction of people to the DVD.

It was suggested more than once that we put a camera above the monitor and film people’s reaction and show it live on another screen close by.

The responses went from fascination, to shock, to disbelief, to double-take, to riveting attention that was evidence by some people standing watching for more than an hour then coming back, to laughter, which I never really understood, to giggle, to stony-faced ignoring…

What I found fascinating, scary, sad and a reflection of so many people’s sexuality and views on sex were those, mostly women, who actually put their hands or programmes over the side of their faces to avoid looking.

This was looking at their own body! At something portrayed with respect, something so beautiful, so powerful.

I shake my head, I shrug.

I am even more determined to reach as many people as I can, to share with them the beauty and power, the possibilities of sexuality.

If you’d like information on the forthcoming workshops in Jo’burg, Durban and Cape Town, please send an email: jontisearll@mweb.co.za.

Will you put that in English for those of us who don’t speak Sexual?

Sexual is its own language.

It goes way beyond the words, which are important, the Real words.

Because more people speak Euphemism than Sexual. As in ‘they slept together, he slept with me, I slept her, him, them…’

As far as I understand it, and I’ve had a little experience in this, sleeping and sex are different activities. Very Different.

When we use language that’s not Sexual, it’s so difficult, sometimes impossible, to talk about the issues and problems we have.  And communication is possibly 80% pf solving the problems.

Problems

Before we even get to having the problems, how do we expect to teach our children Effectively about sex if we can’t teach them to speak Sexual?

This is not just about the words; it’s a culture that allows for open, honest, non-judgmental sex education and understanding.

It needs to be as normal as talking about groceries, movies and music, where it becomes a way of communicating that creates an awareness of us as sexual and sensual beings.

When we speak Sexual we own ourselves, we own our sexuality, and we take responsibility for our pleasure. It becomes an integral part of our self-definition, not something we take out of a box occasionally, use and lock away again.

Sex Words

Besides all the sex words for our genitals, c**k, p***y, d**k, c**t, t**s, we talk about ‘private place and down there’. You won’t find those terms in any anatomy book.

So we become separated from our bodies. Even more so when they tell us ‘don’t touch, it’s dirty, it’s nasty, you’re going to go blind, get sick…’

And the Sex Words become Dirty Words.

And we use f**k as a swear word.

It may be one of the most expressive words there is, being able to be used in so many contexts and ways, verb, noun, adjective and adverb.

It’s made an amazing leap from Sexual to English.

Good

So if Sex Words are Dirty, if Sex Organs are Dirty, how can sex be Good?

How can it be Fun, Exciting, Healing, Loving, Pleasurable, Spiritual, Empowering, Liberating, beautiful, Transformative, Creative, Magical, Ecstatic, Transcendent etc.

(These are all words that have come across from Sexual).

We’ve f****d-up, Big Time!

And then we’ve added a whole bunch of Real Swear Words to Sexual.

Dirty, Guilty, Shameful, Embarrassing, Fear, Perverse, Judgment, Wrong, Suppressed, Repressed…

Beauty

In truth, Sexual is a language of such beauty, such poetry.

It allows us to create and express the highest aspects of ourselves, the Holiest, the Most Sacred, the Most Blissful, and the Most Beautiful we are.

Sexual is the language of the Heart, the Soul expressed through the body.

And we all actually know how to speak Sexual, if we will but allow ourselves…