You are browsing the archive for 2011 February.


February 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

A SPECIAL MASSAGE OFFER – Tantric Sensual Massage Workshop on Sat 26th in Cape Town, R1000/couple. Give yourself a gift from the Gods of Pleasure…


February 21, 2011 in Uncategorized

Speaking personally, the beach and the sea always makes me feel So sensual, even the cold water at Bakoven.

The past few days time-out with my daughter have been a feast of tastes, smells, sounds, sights, laughter and indulgence in the beauty of so much of life.

Tonight ‘work’, as much as I can call what I do work, begins.

The Free Talk on Tantra, and I hope to meet some of you there, 67 Forest Drive, Pinelands, gives a glimpse into how I got to where I am, the journey that brought me here, some of what I do, and the workshops happening this week.

One amazing aspect of a week like this is the opportunuty to share with some people in an intense way, particularly those doing a few or all the workshops. The intimacy and learning, from both sides is so special, deep, life-changing in possibility.

It’s really hard to call it work, but in a way it is.

A while ago I called the lessons ‘playshops’, which simply confused so many.

It’s supposed to be serious.

No, It’s supposed to be fun, it’s how we as adults play.

And we forget that.

We bring all this stuff about goals and performance and ego into it.

Let it flow, let it grow, let it be about pleasure, exploring, laughing, loving.

Come flow…


February 18, 2011 in Uncategorized

There was recently an ad on the radio for NetFlorist advertising flowers for Valentine’s Day.

There were objections, the focus of the ad was aguy with more than one girlfriend, and the ad was removed.

There is an ad on the radio for printer cartridges that makes fun of a guy with a speech defect.

There has been no objection to the ad.   

I received an email from a ‘holistic’ mail list.

I’m teaching in Cape Town next week, most of their database is based there.

What does a mailshot cost? Please send me bank details to make a payment for the ad.

I send an email of the ad.

The reply – we don’t advertise anything with a sexual or racial connotation.

I hear about a beautiful new venue for workshops in Cape Town.

They host, advertise and promote many aspects of growth, health and esoteric learning.

Will they host the workshops.

Well yes, but there can’t be any nudity or ‘intimate touching’.

A company who does internet specials approaches me to advertise my DVD’s and E-books.

I send them the info.

I receive an email from the head of their marketing dept asking if my workshops are for couples only.

I reply no, they’re for everybody.

Well we can’t do that then, don’t believe in sex out of marriage.

We’d, literally, actually, in physical reality, walk on hot coals rather than look at, go into, explore, talk about, acknoweldge problems in the are of sexuality.

So many parents would rather their children watched the most horrific violence and abuse than see naked bodies or people doing something beautifully sexual or sensual.

We’d rather let our children grow up with the most obscure, scary and uninformed knowledge about sex than give them openness and honesty.

And then, when they’re in all sorts of trouble, we blame them.

We’d rather live unfulfiled, in silent screaming, than take action to change this.

We are happier with pain than pleasure.

God, it’s sad.

God it can be different.


February 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

The Conscious Self_pleasuring workshop on Tues night was just beautiful.

It’ always amazing, an hoour to share what we do, such intimacy, and before your mind goes to some strange places, I don’t mean physical.

However, it would be an absolutely awesome experience in the right group, where verybody understood Tantra and Sexual Energy, to be in a space where everybody was pleasuring themselves at the same time, building and moving the energy through the group to explode into the universe together.

My word, the possibilities make me tingle…

Before I get too carried away with that, here’s some feedback from the workshop.

I’m really looking forward to sharing it in Cape Town next week, I hope some, (lots),  of you will come and play, metaphorically, and otherwise.

‘I’ve been left with a deep sense of self-love, gentleness, expansion and being centered… a beautiful gift for myself.

Thank you for your gentle fun wisdom and for creating a space for a greater connection of me with me.’

‘I am so glad I finally made it to one of the workshops.

Like I said on Tuesday, I have renewed confidence and I’m more appreciative of my body and what I can do with it. It is amazing that at post 40, one still has so much to learn. This information makes me feel as if I’m becoming young again. I’m looking forward to a more rewarding sexuality and sensuality. I really feel like a 20 year old in all respects.’

‘Thank you for presenting this in a straightforward way, with humour and gentleness, I felt so at ease. What I learned about my own body after living in it for nearly opened whole new worlds for me.’ 


February 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

I have always thought that the word ‘masturbation’ is firstly pretty clinical and secondly often loaded with guilt and embarrassment from our teenage years. It’s also a very serious sounding word.

‘Playing with yourself’ is not in quite the same category, and it certainly has the connotation of more fun, which is what sex and sensuality certainly should be.


Self-Pleasuring is in a whole different category, and for a long time I understood the difference, the possibilities it offers on many levels.

This week I was able to add another element to this exciting journey.


At the Tantric Sensual Valentine’s talk at The Bedroom I shared a Tantric Sensual exercise with everybody there. Afterwards, a few people shared what they felt and experienced during this.

Over the next few days the light of self-pleasuring burned a little brighter, then came the aha moment!


Self-Pleasuring is generally a purely physical experience. It’s for release, it’s because I’m horny, it’s because I’m watching or reading erotica or porn, it’s because I’m bored, it’s because I’m lonely, it’s because my lover hasn’t fully satisfied me…

So I get out my toys or books or DVD’s and lubricant, turn on the PC or get into my fantasies and do what I need to get there. The orgasm is ok, good, wonderful…

But then it’s done.


When I started teaching the self-pleasuring workshop, the idea was to increase the pleasure possibilities. I included an array of touch techniques for both men and women to make it more enjoyable.

Then I added some energy processes to expand the pleasure deeply. This allowed people to explore some of the world of Tantra on their own by moving sexual energy through the body and using this to reach meditative states and even have energy orgasms.


The feedback from the workshop has been amazing, the healing people have experienced, the increase in sensation, the positive impact on relationships and partner sex, the increase in self-confidence, in knowing their bodies, claiming or re-claiming their sexuality, release of shame, embarrassment, guilt and inhibitions, feeling their desires and much more.


These are the things I knew.


And then over the past few days I made the connection between elf-pleasuring and self-loving. Thank you to those who shared their experiences with me.

And with this we can move into a deeper, more fulfilling level of experience.


Self-pleasuring is a physical experience.

We add energy possibilities and it becomes more.

We add the connection to the Heart and it becomes more. MUCH MORE!


Self-Loving, loving yourself, learning to love yourself, is one of the highest healing and growth states we reach for.

So much of our happiness and fulfillment in all areas of life come from this.

It gives us the knowing of our beauty, the acceptance of our power, the peace of our soul and the ability to achieve beyond our wildest dreams.

Our self-confidence is a direct expression of it. Our belief in ourselves, in our abilities to create the lives we’d like, flow from the value we place in ourselves.

And also opens the door to using our sexual energy to access spiritual experiences.


Self-Pleasuring, Conscious Self-Pleasuring, connecting out bodies, signified by our genitals, to the heart, opening the energy streams, building and moving the incredibly beautiful, alive and electric energy of pleasure, becomes a pathway, direct, simple and  powerful to Self-Loving.


And it’s accessible to every one of us.


I have added some elements for this to the Self-Pleasuring workshops in Jo’burg on Tues 15th and next week in Cape Town.




This has been a week of incredible learning, which has extended into the realm of massage.

For months I’ve been working with connecting the nerve centers that trigger orgasm with sexual energy, experimenting with how to bring them together, how they connect and the possibilities they bring.

The results have literally been out of this world.

Some of the experiences have included being in an extended orgasmic state for over 20 minutes without any genital touching, healing and release of conditions and blockages than have been present for a long time, and an awakening of sensation that is ‘ like nothing I’ve felt before, beyond human and I want more, it’s addictive!’


I’ll be sharing some of these techniques and how to get to these states for the first time on the Tantric Sensual Massage Workshop in Cape Town on Sat 26th.





The topic for the show on Wed 2nd March is foreplay.




I will be available for private sessions and massage in Cape Town.


February 11, 2011 in Uncategorized


I’m looking

And you know I’m looking

You can feel my eyes

Feel what’s coming through eyes

Me desire, my appreciation, my longing to touch, to smell, to taste, to feel


Beauty in a moment

Sexy in a moment

Sensual in a moment

Powerful in a moment.


February 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

The talk at The Bedroom last night was really cool, the shop is a great space to share things about sensuality as it’s very immediate and real, you can see it in action.

One of the things I love about the talks I give is how it brings people from such diverse backgrounds, ages and cultures together. The power of pleasure is amazing in this, we’re able to see so much more of what unites us rather than what separates us, what we have in common rather than what we have alone.

There is a universal desire for sharing, for love, for pleasure, for fulfillment and happiness, for joy and exploration.

The teachings of Tantra, of Taoist Sexuality, High Sex, Sacred Sex, whatever you call it, have permeated every corner of the world. Many cultures have their versions of these practices, all similar in reaching for deeper union, greater pleasure, the understanding that sexuality is a door to so much more, to higher states of consciousness, spiritul experiences, energy states of amazing bliss and growth possibilities that are just so beautiful.

And it’s available to every one of us, whether you’re single or ina relationship, whether you’re young or older.

It’s the most human of journeys.

And my word, does it bring out the beauty in us!


February 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

From the beginning of this journey I have been confronted with and faced sexual prejudice and judgement from many quarters.

I was very happy for a long time to engage with these, to argue and fight, mostly with glee and lust for battle, sometimes with righteous indignation, sometimes as a crusader.

Over time I’ve mellowed. I’ve also realised that certain fights are not going to change anything, and sometimes I have the wisdom to see what’s worth putting energy into.

Well, over the past few weeks I’ve beeen exposed to some extremely limiting, judgemental, fearful and negative responses to sexuality and sacred Sex workshops.

From, of all places, ceratin ‘spiritual’, ‘holistic’ and ‘health’ websites, centers and publications.

It still amazes me that people on this journey have such fear and rejection and simple prejudice against sexuality.

How can we claim to be holistic if we deny one of, in not the most powerful, aspect of ourselves?

How can out bodies be whole until we’ve intergated our genitals into who we are?

How can the energy in our bodies move and flow if the base of that is not strong?

How can we be anywhere near complete if we operate from the waist up?

How can we claim power in any way if the source of our power is not acknowledged?

In the name of pleasure, sacred pleasure, love, beauty…


February 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

There are still places for the Tantric Sensual Valentine’s Talk at The Bedroom, 67, 6th St, Parkhurst, on Thurs 10th Feb at 7 pm.

Bring some friends, have a glass of wine, learn a few things about creating a sensual and romatic experience, laugh, have some fun, win a prize…

This is for singles and couples, men and women.

Booking is essential,, 083 7435 129.


February 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

One of the principles of Tantra, of Taoist sexuality, of High or Conscious Sex is that of using sexual energy for more than just pleasure. Not that there’s anything wrong with ‘just pleasure’, it’s often a limited experience.


One such beautiful use of this energy is for personal growth and exploration, to experience different aspects of ourselves. On your own, in a relationship, it’s not closed to anyone. 


Let’s begin with a brief look at the difference between healing and growth, if there is a difference at all.

On one level there is none, they’re the same thing, growth facilitates healing, healing leads to growth.

On another level healing implies the presence of a problem, a situation or condition that needs to be fixed, removed, changed etc.


However, once many problems such as lack of libido, premature ejaculation, inability to have orgasms, erection problems, painful sex, lack of intimacy etc have been ‘sorted out’,  we’re able to look at growth.


I’d like to suggest growth as being a greater awareness of ourselves, the experience and integration of more  aspects of ourselves, a deeper understanding of who we are and what we do. (which sounds a great deal like healing, we can’t really get away from the connection.)


Sexual Bodywork in many forms, some more intimate than others, some working with chakra’s, some with meridians, use sexual energy to access different states of being that help us to the understandings and insights that growth brings us.

The processes help us shift awareness, expand our consciousness, deeply relax our being, allow our minds to be quiet for a few minutes to give space for the awareness to come to consciousness.


One of the defining principles of Tantra is that of non-judgment, where nothing is taboo, nothing is forbidden, because everything has the possibility of teaching us something about ourselves, about each other, our relationships and patterns.   

If we say that nothing is forbidden it can be taken to mean that anything is ok, I can go and do whatever I like.

But there’s no consciousness in that, no purpose. Therefore there’s no growth, knowledge or deeper understanding of our lives.


Conscious Sexuality creates these experiences with a purpose. They get us in touch with a particular aspect of ourselves, create something, reveal something, heal something, stretch a boundary, release something, bring us closer together, break a personal taboo, free us from an inhibition, challenge a belief…


The purpose and awareness allow us to acknowledge the different aspects of ourselves, and to integrate these into our being. The more of ourselves we see and know, the more whole we become.


The energy of pleasure, of sex, creates a space of love, which allows us the acceptance of these aspects of ourselves, even, sometimes particularly the shadow.

The more we can do this with love, the less power the inner demons have, because we can see what they bring to us, sometimes the most surprising gifts.


What a journey…   


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