July 29, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tantra Evolution is a framework, a philosophy and a practical path, a guide to a way of being that includes growth, exploring, healing, relationships and spirituality.
Tantra Evolution takes you with gentleness into a field of possibilities. The focus is on sensuality and intimacy, with yourself and your partner that allows for understanding and growth in a natural flow towards freedom and fulfillment.
I have recently learned something very valuable and truthful about my sexuality as a woman. It’s never been used for its original purpose. It’s never been unencumbered as pure sensuality and pleasure.
And that’s what it’s designed for. Pleasure. Not catching a man, not trying to make someone else jealous, not buying affection and certainly not to try and persuade someone to love you.
You see, over the years I have used my sexual power to placate anger, to defuse arguments, to keep my partner “happy”, to get control, to keep the peace, to do my duty, to excite interest, to flatter ego, to feel attractive…
I never did pleasure for pleasures’ sake. I did what I felt would make me enough to keep my partner loving me.
That’s not honest. Giving something in exchange for an agenda of hoped for emotions, commitment, safety, peace, family…
Along the way, I lost the ability to be in the moment, to be truly intimate with myself. To truly experience pleasure, free of an unspoken emotional agenda.
I forgot about myself in the currency of male ego, and by doing so denied my partner access to my true self, faking my way through experiences that could have been pleasurable if I hadn’t desperately wanted to be in control of it all.
And I lost my soul. My essence. The ability to let go into the place where being fully in your sexual power is designed to take you to altered states of consciousness and full awareness of yourself in a raw and primal, beautiful physical state. I believe that’s what sexual union should be. A bliss state, free of judgment, fear and guilt. A union that’s honest, with no undercurrents of emotional payment and expectation.
I have decided to walk a different path now. To explore pleasure possibilities for their own sake, to expand my experiences of life, of being a spiritual being in a physical body. To enjoy every sensation that I choose to experience, to revel in my sexuality for myself. Am I afraid? You bet. Yet I will walk this path with an honest love for myself that no longer uses my sexuality as emotional currency.
That is far too high a price for any woman to pay.
What Anne-Marie has written applies just as much to men as to women.
The expression of sex being pervaded by agendas other than pleasure, love, intimacy and connection is slightly different in men.
So many of us, men and women, use sex as currency, emotional currency.
We give it or withhold it in a space of manipulation that often destroys our partner’s and relationships. It becomes a slow erosion of intimacy, of trust, of self-confidence.
It becomes a tool in an expression of power that comes from a place far from the heart, far from what love is.
When we use sex in this way, it’s not about intimacy or connection. It can’t be.
And it certainly can’t be connected to the higher possibilities, the spiritual wonders that pleasure offers us.
Sex becomes a weapon. And the natural flow of this energy in our bodies is interfered with, with sometimes dire consequences.
For women, the physical impact is linked to painful sex, lack of lubrication and a struggle or inability to have orgasms.
For men this manifests in erection and ejaculation problems.
In relationships we lose intimacy, and when this goes we’re in trouble. Intimacy is the basic connection that holds us together. When that becomes tempered with mistrust, with insecurity, with communication that is not fully open, when we feel a lack of respect, when we are unfulfilled, we are unable to communicate about and resolve other issues and problems.
We lose our sensuality, because sensuality and intimacy are directly linked. And in sensuality we find fulfillment, that’s what touches our hearts. The sex becomes a purely physical expression, which is fine, if that’s what you’re looking for, but that’s all it is.
We clothe ourselves in masks, we become something, someone we’re not. We move away from ourselves. The anger, the frustration we feel at this, is directed outwards, onto our partner. The deeper we go into this space, the harder it is to reclaim ourselves, to see what we’re doing, and how to come back from there.
This is far too high a price for anyone to pay.
TANTRA EVOLUTION AND THE BEDROOM
We have found beautiful new workspace at The Bedroom in Parkhurst.
The shop is at 67 6th St, c/r 2nd Ave.
To celebrate this, we are offering a 10% discount for the next two weeks on any purchases made there, just tell them that you’re a friend of Jonti’s.
More detailed info on the workshops is attached to the email.
Mon 22nd Aug: Tantra Evolution – An Introduction
Tues 23rd Aug: Expanded Orgasmic Wave
Wed 24th Aug: Sexual Healing
Thurs 25th Aug: Awakening the Erotic Spirit
Sat 27th Aug: Tantric Sensual Massage
Sun 28th Aug: Taoist Sexual Energy Massage
DOUBLE GODDESS MASSAGE
This is one of the deepest, most beautiful gifts you as a woman can give your self.
The combination of masculine and feminine energies creates a space for a sensual experience that flows into the dimensions of healing, release, expansion and pleasure.
It is so difficult for many women to simply receive, to allow themselves to feel, to accept the love offered and experience your beauty.
Anne-Marie and I have created this time of beauty for you to feel, if for but a few moments, the Goddess you are.
TANTRA EVOLUTION TALK
Sat 6th August at 2 pm, I’m giving a talk at The Ngwenya Glass Village on Tantra and Sensuality.
Cost is R75, which includes tea, proceeds go to South African Riding for the Disabled Association.
Enquiries/Bookings: 083 285 8383
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX
The 3 CD set, just under 4 hours of talks on Tantra, Relationships, Men, Women, Sensuality, Sexual Body work and Healing is R280.
ABOUT JONTI SEARLL
Jonti is a Tantra Teacher & Sensualist. He offers workshops, talks, private and group lessons in the field of sexuality & sensuality. He assists singles, couples and groups in healing, creating a deeper connection, intimacy, pleasure and the magic between sex and spirituality. His tailor made programmes incorporate Tantra, coaching, bodywork, meditation, and practical exercises. He has extensive media coverage with the latest being the Sunday Times; Shape Magazine and You Pulse. He appears on Kaya FM on the first Wednesday of every month at 21.00.