Fixing A Relationship

February 8, 2013 in Sexual Health and Education

Fixing a Relationship
I had an interesting thought recently.
You can’t fix a relationship.
You can change something in yourself.
You can become aware of your patterns, the things you do.
You can become aware of the impact of what you do.
You can become conscious of how you communicate, how you perceive things, the beliefs you hold and how they manifest.
Without this, all that we do in a relationship will not change.
We’ll keep bringing the same patterns to our space.
We may learn new things.
But we’ll go back to what we know, it’s like a default setting.
And we don’t have much choice in it.
The only thing we can do, the only way we can change anything in a relationship, the only way we can ‘fix’ anything, is to move something within ourselves.
This puts a very different perspective on relationships.
And it no longer makes it about ‘what they do’.
Obviously there are 2 people in a relationship.
And this perspective means taking responsibility for ourselves.
My relationship is my responsibility.
If I don’t heal my stuff, look at my patterns, words and actions, I can’t bring anything different to the space and what’s between us.
Therefore there can’t be a change.
The expectation that many people have is that something external can heal their relationship.
And, in truth, most people looking for healing are looking for some magic formula that’s going to do it for them, wave the wand, abracadabra, it’s done.
And much out there in the world promises that.
Some of it even delivers.
For a short time.
It can’t do anything else.
And we go back to where we were.
We have to.
But when something within us shifts, when we heal, when we release, when we become more aware of who we are, of what we do, of why, when our consciousness expands.
Then we change.
Then, and only then, what’s between us, can change.
I am my relationship.
I am my life.
I make choices from where I am, from what I know.
As I know more, my relationship can expand.
My life can expand.
This is a conscious choice.
And it’s not an easy choice.
It’s not rainbows and white doves.
It takes us into the depths of ourselves, who we are, what we’ve done, what we do.
And who we can be, what we can do.
It can take us to a space of incredible knowing.
It can take us to a space of deep sharing and communication.
It can take us to a space of exposed vulnerability, in a way that is powerful rather than weak.
It can take us beyond the veils of illusion to a space of greater truth.
It can take us to space of growing congruity between our inner and outer worlds.
It can take us to a space where our relationships, and by extension, our lives, are an endless journey, an adventure worthy of the power and strength of the highest we are.
And it can take us to a space of unfolding possibility, beyond what we can see now, beyond what we can conceive, to magnificence, to a knowing of love with a capital L.
Which is so far from what we thought it was…
The sharing in Cape Town this week has been so deep, so exciting.
The Holding Space Experience, wow, beyond words.
We are so looking forward to Tantric Sensual Massage tomorrow. There are still places available for this journey into Conscious Sensual Touch. We have developed a way of touching as an expression of how you feel, going beyond technique into a space of sensation, feeling and pleasure that expands, grows, deepens…
This is followed by The Sacred Sexual Massage, an experience of such power. It includes Quiet Yoni and Lingam, finding the G-Spot, deep stimulation for higher states of pleasure and more.
We will be back in Cape Town for SEXPO, 7-9 March, with a full week of workshops the following week.
THE ART of SEX, Tues 19 Feb, 7pm, singles and couples, R350/person.
SENSUAL MASSAGE, SACRED SEXUAL MASSAGE, Sat 23 Feb, 11 am, couples only.

HOLDING SPACE, Tues 26 Feb, 7pm, singles and couples, R350/person.

A SPECIAL EVENING of EXPLORING SEXUALITY with Jonti and Lara, Thurs 28 Feb, 7:30 pm, Pharaohs Fantasy Club

We wish you so much pleasure
Jonti & Anne-Marie
(note ADULT content on following site)

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